WEDNESDAYS: My Daddy Turns 86

Well, he did last week. I spent every morning with him last week trying to get his computer fixed up. The entire machine remains a mystery to him and he calls regularly to get a walk through on basic functions. But he needed a new keyboard and mouse and the one thing he really really wanted for his birthday was internet access in his room so he could try the email once again. So that took me about 5 trips to Best Buy and about 5 calls to tech support to get the whole thing set up. Modems out of date, resetting up addresses and passwords. Talk about lions and tigers and bears.

I know my dad is clinging to his past and the way things were and I do my best to accomodate him. It is tough trying to judge what he is capable of and what is beyond him but harmless in its own way. The last year has been a year of stresses and controlled chaos. I can take it all one day at a time but when I try to take a look at the bigger picture I don't get any clarity. Through it all I have had my own share of disappointments and little disillusionments, making it abundantly clear that I am quite on my own in many respects.

I was listening to the radio the other day and I heard one of my favorite songs, one by U2, of course. It reminded me of my dad and of myself.

"Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own"

Tough, you think you got the stuff

You're telling me and everyone

You're hard enough.

You don't have to put up a fight.

You don't have to always be right.

Let me take some of the punches

for you tonight.

Listen to me now.

I need to let you know.

You don't have to go it alone.

And it's you when I look in the mirror.

And it's you when I don't pick up the phone.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own.

( skipping the next verse)

Hey now,

Still gotta let you know

A house doesn't make a home.

Don't leave me here alone.

Needless to say I shed a few tears over that song and all the sentiments it holds. Let's see if I can link to a video of it as well. So happy birthday papa. I am glad you made it this far.

Sometimes U Can't Make It On Your Own