I have heard this expression many times, can't remember the author or where I heard it. But lately I can't stop thinking it. I have always wanted to be a writer and I have had some small successes in that area. I have certainly put in the hours throwing up words on paper and small screens. The success part is different in my brain. I have a really difficult time being anyone different than who I am, can't hardly hide a feeling or a thought. This relates to my writing because I often feel that I don't want to (truly cannot) write with any sort of truth about stuff I don't know in my heart or haven't experienced. Yet I crave writing fiction. I want to make stuff up and have it be wonderful and magical and have the ability to transport the reader far away from life.
I worked for awhile writing articles about the auto industry where I was able to interview people. That worked well for me because it all had a basis in reality but I still wanted to wrench something from myself. Still want to. So I took a break and eventually came around to writing this blog (thank you Lisa) and the practice has been twofold: writing what I know and writing about my life. And I still resist it, thinking "what do I have to say." It makes me think of that line in Cat in the Hat, "Yes the fish is talking, but is he saying anything?" And hopefully this will springboard me into the wrenching of fiction from my guts. I know it sounds so dramatic but this time around I am only fighting for a mental survival.
Now I am just rambling.
Sometimes the real truth can only be revealed when we stop censoring and allow ourselves to rambled for a bit.
You are a great writer.
And you are diligently taking the steps and doing the work that will enable you to take the leap when the time comes to get on board. I have every faith and confidence.
I am already so very proud of you.
Posted by: Lisa Jane | April 26, 2009 at 10:37 AM